When I
wrote Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator, I decided to do something
different. Since the plot took place in
Hollywood at a reality TV show, I had one of the writers working on his
documentary about zombies. It turned out
to be a really fun way to introduce people to my world, crack a lot of jokes,
and do some fun things with zombies that did not fit in the events of the
novel. I’d like to share a bit of that
with you.
Incidentally,
both this incident and Gary Opkast make an appearance in I Left My Brains in
San Francisco as well.
Notes
for: The Zombie Syndrome
A
Documentary
By Gary
Opkast
Episode:
Zombie Zero
Film
clip of a zombie clawing its way out of a grave (NOTE: Check YouTube;
InsaneCandid is supposed to have a good one, and his family may sell the rights
to pay for his funeral expenses.)
NARRATOR:
The world has been living under the zombie threat for over two decades, yet
where did this threat originate? Did it
begin with a single human, or a simultaneous uprising? Did the zombie syndrome migrate to other
countries, or did it spring simultaneously, as it were, from the grave? The answers to these questions could give
scientists a much-needed break in isolating and resolving the cause of
zombie-ism. So the search continues for
that elusive first case--the one scientists call "Zombie Zero."
Cut to
DR. BEN HANSEN (CORRIANDER SPICE) (Need
background visuals--something non-zombie-ish but interesting enough to detract
from digitized face effect): "The problem we're coming up against is in
the reporting. Sure, now, you call 9-1-1
and tell them there's a zombie on your lawn, and the Z-mat team comes right
away, but who would have believed this twenty-three years ago?"
Cut to
re-enactment of 9-1-1 call. Note on
bottom: 9-1-1 call, Pleasantville, KY,
Oct 31, 2019, 11:35 p.m.
"9-1-1,
how may I help you?"
"Please! Help me!
There's a, a zombie and it's--"
"Where
are you?"
"I'm
in a barn off Countryside Lane! My
boyfriend and I were on a drive and we ran out of gas and now--"
"'Ran
out of gas'?"
"Shut
up, okay? There's a zombie and it broke the window and pulled Billy out of the back
seat and--"
"Miss,
have you been drinking?"
"Shut
up and help me! I'm in the barn and it's
coming after me and I think Billy is too!"
"Miss,
could it be they're just playing a joke?"
Screams.
Cut to clips
of the barn, the bodies with sheets over them, one hand, obviously zombified,
peeking out.
NARRATOR:
"It was no joke. Barbie Munchausen,
17, and her boyfriend, Billy Stakes, were discovered by police officers
lurching hand-in-hand down Countryside Lane.
When they attacked Policeman Lance McRue, his partner, Dougie Marsh, a
longtime fan of zombie films, decapitated them with an ax. Even so, officials were slow to believe the
zombie story until McRue himself re-animated an hour later. This was the first confirmed case of
zombie-ism in the United States, but was it the
first?"
HANSEN:
"Not a chance. We have found veiled
references to the undead back to the mid 2010s.
Before that, we had some vampire sightings, but we're pretty sure that
was part of the Twilight craze. Vampires!
Come on--who's going to believe that old tale?"
Purchase links:
Neeta Lyffe,
Zombie Exterminator : http://amzn.to/hTqMGa
Find out about all of Karina Fabian’s books at http://fabianspace.com
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