Interview with Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator

Neeta Lyffe (Actually, Karina's sister, Regina Koske, modeling.  Thanks, sis!  You kick zombie butt!)

Hi Neeta. Thanks for being with us today. I was concerned that your duties might keep you from speaking with us.

It's no big deal, really.  You know, I'm just an exterminator.  I spray for ants, set rat traps…  Zombie extermination is just one of the things I do--and, thank heaven, there aren't *that* many zombies out there.  I have free time, even when I was hosting Zombie Death Extreme, I managed to find time to relax and have fun. 

I just caught the cover for your book on Karina’s website. Sure looks like you can kick some butt.

(Blushes) I hate that picture.  There is no way I'd take on a zombie with my uniform half off, and trust me, if a zombie is down, his head is away from his neck.  But people do like it, and I can kick butt, though most of the time, I'd rather slice off the head.

Recently heard that you got yourself into a spot of trouble—something to do with a zombie and a lawyer. What is up with that?

It's been in the news enough, but long story short:  Lawyer decides to entertain guests with a  backyard shindig, featuring all manner of strongly smelling foods, including (who knows why) pickled beets and something smothered in blue cheese dressing.  Said lawyer lives behind a cemetery.  When the undead started rising and following the smells, he doesn’t panic but depends on his electric fence to keep them out.  Like a little zap is going to stop something already dead.  By the time I responded to the 9-1-1, there was pandemonium everywhere--and one guy videoing on his phone.  Me against nine undead?  Even I'm not good enough to get in close.  I used the flamethrower until I ran out of fuel.  One flaming meat staggered onto the porch, probably in response to the video guy.  Some zombies still have an instinct for trying to get on YouTube.  Anyway, a brilliant guest tossed vodka on it, which set the porch on fire.  I was busy trying to unstick my chainsaw from one zombie's shoulder at the time.

I re-killed all the zombies before backup got there.  Saved over a dozen lives.  But Lawyer Larry sued me for wrecking his backyard. (shrug)  Mom always said not to expect any appreciation for this job.

I’m not a fan of reality TV. I thought by the time 2040 came to pass it would have run its course. I hear it’s helping you out, though. What made you want to get into TV anyway?

I wanted to educate people about zombie extermination and defense.  Despite everything, I think we accomplished that, though not as well as I'd like.  I hope everyone will catch *The Zombie Syndrome* on the Modern History Channel when it comes out.  And, frankly, there was no way I was going to pay off that lawsuit on an exterminator's pay.  It was a choice of doing reality TV or losing my house.

So, I hear the paparazzi are driving you a bit nuts. How are you keeping them in line?

Have I shown you my chain saw?

**Excerpted from an interview with Neeta on The Book Connection.

Here’s an important question: where can readers pick up a copy of Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator?

Like with so many books, Amazon is easiest:  http://www.amazon.com/Neeta-Zombie-Exterminator-Karina-Fabian/dp/1615722734

Do you have an online home too?

http://www.karinafabian.com/index.php?name=Content&pid=33 is where you can learn more about the book.  Naturally, the show has its own website:  http://www.zombiedeathextreme.com/  You can follow the link to my extermination homepage; if you live in Southern California, Inglewood area, look me up.  I take care of pests from Ants to Zombies.

Thanks for making time for us today, Neeta. Any parting words?

Just remember:  I'm a professional zombie exterminator with training and a license to re-kill.  If you ever see a zombie, your best bet is to call 9-1-1, douse yourself in cleaning products and run.  Don't be a hero.

An Interview with a Zombie Exterminator

Good afternoon Neeta. It's so good to finally meet you.

It's a pleasure, Amanda.  I appreciate this chance to tell folks about zombie extermination.  It's a growing specialization--unfortunately, because the demand is still growing--but every one of us hopes to work ourselves out of a job eventually.

So, tell me, why did you choose your career path as a zombie exterminator?

It's a family business.  My mother, God rest her soul, was a single mom working as a general exterminator when she and her partner inadvertently stumbled upon a huge zombie infestation  while investigating what a cemetery thought were rats.  She and her partner discovered they had a talent for mowing down zombies.  (In this case, literally.  That riding lawn mower saved more than a few lives that night.)  Since there was obviously a need, they specialized.  Mom was a real activist for the cause of zombie extermination and prevention as well.  I hope she looks at my efforts with the reality TV show, Zombie Death Extreme as another way of building awareness.

What makes a good zombie exterminator? 

Strength:  strong arms, strong will, strong nerves… and a strong stomach.  You also need to be able to think on your feet.  Zombies, as we've come to learn, are far more variable than we saw in the movies.  It's amazing what can be used against them.  That's why I urge everyone to remember that your best defense against a zombie is not that butcher knife on the counter, but the cleaning products under the counter, the hamburger in the fridge, and the television.  (Turn it on and run!)

What's the best way to kill a zombie?

You have to destroy the brain:  sever the spine at the neck.  Decapitation, smash their brains.  Setting them on fire works well if they're I an advanced state of decay, but sometimes, that only stalls them enough to give you a chance to go for the neck.

Do you have a favorite weapon?

Chainsaw and a supersoaker full of TidyToidy.  They're the most effective, IMHO, but the chainsaw does get heavy.  I train a lot.

How does one secure one's home against the undead?

First, attitude.  Often an ARM (Animated Rotting Meat) will return to a familiar place--a home, workplace, bar…  Some people still think it's a miracle that their loved one is returning from the dead.  It's not--it's a tragedy in the making.  These are not people anymore.  I can't state that enough.  A moment's hesitation at seeing Uncle Joe can cost you your life--and maybe bring you back to hurt those you love.

Second, cell phone and car keys.  Most major cities have a skilled Z-Mat team and exterminators on call.  Get in your car and dial 9-1-1 as you speed away.  Some zombies are fast, but none can outrun a speeding car.

Third, cleaning products.  We don't know why, but with few exceptions, cleaning products will repel zombies.  Not the enviro-friendly stuff, however.  Bleach. Amonia.  You know those scrubbing bubbles?  Those are actually kind of funny to watch--but don't delay your escape to get some video on your cell phone!  Trust me, YouTube is not worth your life!

After that, imagination is your best defense.  Some zombies can be deflected by cigarettes; others by a beer.  Some will stop dead (pardon the pun) to watch Days of Our Lives.  In the Middle East, many devout families nonetheless keep a package of bacon in their refrigerators just for zombie defense.  Whatever you do, however, try it and run.

Is it true that if you blend in with a horde of zombies and pretend to be one, they will leave you alone?

No.  Oh, please, please, Amanda!  If any of your readers believes that tell them no!  They may get distracted by a pound of raw hamburger, but they can definitely tell the difference between a fresh brain and an undead one!

Thank you so much for your time.

No problem.  I hope folks will take a look at the book Karina Fabian wrote about some of my adventures on the Zombie Death Extreme Set.  It's called Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator.  It's a fun way to learn more about zombies and zombie defense.

Purchase links:

Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator :  http://amzn.to/hTqMGa

I Left My Brains in San Francisco: http://amzn.to/Nzm01L

Learn more about the Zombie Exterminator novels at http://zombiedeathextreme.com

Find out about all of Karina Fabian’s books at http://fabianspace.com