Nineteen tales on the lighter side of horror. Dyslexic witches, bumbling vampires, gelatinous blobs, and other creatures of the night battle with little girls in frilly dresses, twelve-year-old choir boys, grandmothers, and other unexpected monster hunters. Come explore the silliness of being afraid.
Find it on Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/Brain-Candy-ebook/dp/B00DPK9OQS.
Jaleta Talks About Writing Brain Candy:
If
you'd asked me when I started writing seriously if I'd ever write horror, I
would have given you an emphatic, "NO!" I don't do horror. I don't
creepy, scary, icky. I don't do dark. Like everything else I've said I would
never do, I've written plenty of horror. But I still don't do dark. Brain Candy
is a collection of horror stories on the lighter side, my way of laughing at
the crap life tosses my way. What's the best way to scare off the monsters
under the bed or in the closet? Turn them into something ridiculous or absurd.
I
hadn't realized how many horror short stories I'd written until I compiled this
collection. These range from the outright campy silly to the light-hearted
romantic to the skin crawling something's watching me. They make me laugh. A
couple made me cry. I love all of them in all their weirdness. Writing these
stories gives me a chance to play, to let my imagination romp through the world
of happy little nightmares. I hope you enjoy them as much as I have.
Excerpt
from "Always a Bridesmaid":
So there we were, at the church, all
dressed in our Sunday finery. The Thursday sun streamed through the stained
glass, painting rainbows across the chapel. William Rutherford, the groom,
fidgeted at the altar, nervous as a cat in a leaky rowboat. Old Mrs. Wilson
tootled the organ, treating us to the same hymn preludes she’d played for every
occasion for the last fifty years. Great-Aunt Tildie rested in her coffin in
the Sunday School room. Cousin Lizzie primped in the bathroom, waiting for her
grand entrance.
The ancient cooling system puffed
and wheezed, trying to keep up with the rising temperature. Reverend Jim beamed
at the congregation, swaying back and forth in time to Mrs. Wilson’s rendition
of Onward Christian Soldiers. The Reverend had obviously partaken of the
sacramental wine, and a few other spirits, that morning. As long as he could
still say the right words, Grandmother Lily let it slide.
Aunt Marion, the mother of the
bride, finally entered, bustling to her seat on the very front row. She
adjusted her fussy blue hat, her fat little mouth pinched in a smile of smug
satisfaction. Lyda Thompson Rutherford, mother of the groom, returned the smile
with a grimace. How two feuding families had managed to arrange a wedding was
beyond my twelve-year-old understanding.
I sweated in the choir loft with the
other nine choir boys. We had a perfect view of the congregation from our perch
on one side of the chapel. Pleasant Green’s church was built over a hundred and
fifty years ago by three drunken Scotchmen, brothers with their own ideas of
how a church should be built. It wasn’t orthodox, but it was ours, and it was
solid with Scottish know-how and hard work.
Jimmy Duncan flapped his choir robe,
creating a slight breeze and stirring the dust. We giggled and poked each
other.
“I wish she’d hurry up. I’m dying of
heat stroke.” Frankie Tucker tugged his robe away from his neck.
“Weddings are boring.” Beauford
Radley rolled his eyes and punched Jimmy in the arm.
Mrs. Wilson dropped the military
march mid-chorus. She slammed into the opening chords of the wedding march. All
ten of us boys craned our necks to see the grand entrance of Cousin Lizzie in
her wedding do. The double doors crashed open.
Everyone stifled screams, except
drunk Reverend Jim and blind Mrs. Wilson, at the apparition lurching into the
chapel. Great-Aunt Tildie, sagging in her blue Sunday dress, shambled up the
aisle. Cousin Lizzie’s white veil trailed from her sculpted white hair. The
bridal bouquet wilted in her tightly clenched fists.
“She’s dead, ain’t she?” Frankie
whispered.
If you enjoyed this, check it out on Amazon. Also, check out Jaleta's website for more about her books and stories.
Love that cover!
ReplyDeleteThanks! I had too much fun making it. The brain cupcake is from Monster Kookies. I love her zombie jewelry. http://www.monsterkookies.com/ You can't see it in the picture, but the print version even has a rainbow on the back cover. That's the way I do horror.
ReplyDeleteOoh will check that out!
ReplyDelete