Thursday, May 2, 2013

A Dragon's View of Zombies

Told by Vern of DragonEye, PI

Karina's told me she's written a zombie novel, Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator. She's pretty excited about it coming out in March, and says she has readers who are already antsy for a copy.
I don't get it. Zombies are the equivalent of spoiled food becoming animated. Why are you making literature out of dinner gone bad?

There are zombies in our culture--inevitably the result of evil magic. Soulless animated bodies of the dead. When the sorcerer "does it right," he can infuse them with some rudimentary commands and a very minimal intelligence--kind of like Lego Mindstorm robotics. Done wrong, however, and you have the shambling dead trying to act out whatever messed up command its rotting brain can process.

Had that happen in the Great War. None-too-experienced sorcerer tried to make a zombie army, but wasn't precise enough in his command to kill the "enemy." So they pretty much turned on everyone. Would have been a good time for your world's napalm, though we did have Greek Fire. Once in a while, though, I had to take a more personal approach to pulling one off one of my comrades. Took weeks to get the taste out of my mouth. In fact, I've got an urge to gargle just thinking about it.

See why I don't like to talk about zombies? Now excuse me while I go find a 2-liter bottle of Listerine.

Check out Vern's latest book, Greater Treasures, at

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