Thursday, October 24, 2013

Containing the Zombie Outbreak

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Most zombie movies and books nowadays assume the zombie outbreak will happen so fast, we won't really have time to adapt and will thus be relegated to a defensive role of the double-tap and decap. (As if Joe Public could decapitate someone with one fell swoop of the sword.)  However, never in the history of Man have we had a contagion that moved that moved so suddenly. Even the Black Death, which was spread by fleas, didn't spread as quickly or thoroughly as did Zombieism in World War Z  (World War Flea, anyone?)  In fact, Cracked Magazine recently posted an article on the scientific reasons why a zombie apocalypse would fail--and quickly, too.  (I've loved Cracked since I was a kid, and now find they are both funny and the bastion of common sense.)

So what would happen if zombieism did follow a more realistic disease vector, even taking into account the propensity of the sick to die, rise quickly, and go out for a bite or twelve?  I approached Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator with this assumption.  Health organizations and governments across the world galvanized into action, not just with police and military skilled at shooting for hte head, but also procedures for identifying and avoiding zombies, reporting them, protecting yourself against them, etc.  I think, though, the singlemost effective procedure put in place was mandatory spinal severing upon death of anyone.  Essentially, decapitation, but subtle enough that Aunt Eadie doesn't faint at the sight of Uncle Gordon's head sitting half an inch off his body.

If you were in charge during the zombie outbreak and could take preventative measures, what would you do?


  1. I'd implement good old fashioned quarantined zones and mandatory corpse cremation.

  2. I was just rewatching "Night of the Living Dead" for the hundredth time, and the suggestion on the news broadcast was good--immediate cremation of all dead bodies. If you had the time, and resources, clearly. Since so many bodies are cremated anyway, I think the trauma to the relatives of the deceased would be much less. Oh, and second your appreciation for Cracked--a must daily read!

  3. Here's to the Spinal Severing! (Is that just Zombies, or can we broaden the field a bit?) ;)

    Happy Hopping!

  4. I'd set up quarantine zones and then erect a perimeter around that. Gotta keep them all at arm's length!!

  5. Stock up on guns and explosives. Establish a safe base. Help others establish their bases... well away from mine. Anyone else read THE ForREST OF HANDS AND TEATH?